This year has been a fragmented mess, with my life being chronicled according to semesters and holidays. The first half of the year was complete torment, with jumping back into school straight after coming back from exchange travel and having to dive straight into the rigour that is RIBA SEM. That semester was completely trying, with a new tutor that I didn't get along too well with and couldn't learn from, try as I might've. Would not have been surprised if I'd failed the whole thing but by God's MIGHTY grace I passed and went on.
Then the summer holidays came, and going against my inner desires I decided to work for the entire duration of the holidays at an architecture firm. The lack of a breather from anything architectural proved to be cataclysmic for my mental health when the second semester of the year started, but thankfully a combination of good friends and good luck ameliorated the catastrophe that was to follow.
In short, it has been a hard year. Grades-wise, relationship-wise, I'd been living on the edge. But this year was also the year of letting go. I've struggled with not doing well in school for the longest time (not that I do SUPER badly, but could definitely be much much much much better) and wondering whether I have the tenacity to continue with this for the rest of my life. I've definitely not figured that out, but I've come to realise that things can change inexorably, and no one knows what the future brings – so for now, I am comfortable slowly fixing pieces of the puzzle together and dreaming of a bigger world.
2013 was the year of change. I've had to deal with my friends being away from me be it on exchange, or just in a different track. I thought it would be harder than it was, because I'd worried about it all through the holidays, weighing on my mind like a burgeoning deadweight. I'd had to shift house again, this time to a more permanent location, and had to deal with the designing of the house and the organisation.
But this year wasn't all bad. I've had the opportunity to travel thrice – once to Penang during the summer holidays, once to Batam, and once to Turkey, which I've just come back from. The time away from Singapore with my family allowed us to bond and gave me a clearer perspective of what I want and have in life. I am thankful that we are well off enough to be able to afford these vacations together and be comfortable not to have to scrimp and save, but most importantly that everyone is healthy and together.
Cannot be more thankful to my friends, especially those in DTS, and also those that have taken the time to catch up with me. This year was filled with times of trouble, but also, and perhaps more so, filled with love and laughter. As much as I am glad to have gotten closer to good friends and knowing them better and that I'll always have them if only I'd ask, I am also glad to have some people out of my life – for the better.
And so who knows what this new year will bring? Whatever it is, I hope to grow into a stronger person with more vision. No resolutions this year (at least not any that I'm going to explicitly state) but I guess better is good enough for me.
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